ShotsWeb

Breaking News....
Devon and Cornwall have cancelled their planned joint '60s & '70s retro music festival after a row over whether to put The Jam or Cream on first

The fact that there is a Highway to Hell but only a Stairway to Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers

The man who invented throat lozenges died last week.

There was no coffin at the funeral.

Meanwhile in Ireland a chap has discovered the oldest person to have ever lived.
He took reporters to a very small headstone that read :-
193
Miles from Dublin.

Wrexham really have to hope Hollywood don't get bored when the documentary goes stale. Some of their fans are completely blind / choose not to.see.the debt that is being placed round the clubs neck. If they walk away it's curtains. Finishing mid table and going out of the cup in the 1st round shoul...

My son came home from school today and said

"dad I've failed biology at school".

" I'm your mum". I replied.

Jesus Christ was originally going to be named Gary until Mary stubbed her toe.

I threw a ball for my dog...

It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a Tuxedo.

My Dad was telling me he bought his 1st car from the Krays.
I said what reg ?
He said no Ronnie I think.

I used to know how to make those little fizzy sweets but then I forgot…

So I went on a Refresher course!

The actor who played Captain Kirk in Star Trek has announced that his female lingerie business has been a total failure...

In hindsight, maybe Shatner Knickers wasn't the best name for the venture!

BREAKING NEWS

Due to cutbacks the light at the end of the tunnel has been switched off!

Poo jokes aren't my favourite kind of joke.

But they are a solid number 2.

Still can't understand how the local cemetery can put its prices up and blame it on the cost of living.

I watched 3 people jogging outside my window.
It inspired me
To get up and close the curtains