STICKY : Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

[Anon E Mouse]

The other night I walked into the bedroom and my wife asked me "What would you most like to do with my body?"

Apparently, "Identify it" wasn't the right answer.

[Anon E Mouse]

I've got a friend who can only count up to 3, but he's still got a job...

He puts the crisps into Walkers crisp packets...

[80fc]

I used to get a valentines day card and present from a secret admirer, this year I didn't get one. First my gran died and now this

[Anon E Mouse]

Went for a job at a Blacksmiths.
He said "Are you any good at shoeing horses?"
I said: "No but I told a donkey to bugger off once!"

[Anon E Mouse]

Anyone know if taping the skirting boards before painting walls is a good idea?

Masking for a friend.

[Fuggletim]

I killed two birds with one stone today. I don’t think I am allowed back in Birdworld at Holt Pound again…..

[Anon E Mouse]

I used to have trouble making Yoghurt pots on my lathe.
Recently I've turned a Corner.

[Fuggletim]

Someone once told me that they were a “Fiat Earther.”

I asked if they really believe the earth is flat?

He told that it was shaped like an Italian car and I must have misheard him….

[Anon E Mouse]

Opened my car bonnet this morning and found a bat sitting on the engine.
He said 'hello sir, how are you today, my you look very hansome today and are very nicely dressed'

I could see the problem straight away.

Bat flattery

[Fuggletim]

I can never figure out why my home security consultancy never succeeded. My door was always open…..

[Anon E Mouse]

I've just got a job making plastic Draculas.

There are only two of us on the production line...

So I have to make every second Count.

[Fuggletim]

I was sailing on a private yacht around Hong Kong Harbour last week. The menu was all junk food….

[Anon E Mouse]

My local supermarket is exchanging old novels for certain root vegetables...

That’s a turnip for the books...

[Anon E Mouse]

Have I told you about the time I tied my shoelaces, with just the power of my mind?

Thought knot.

[Fuggletim]

I have a joke about the fastest cruise ship ever built; don’t worry it’s a quick one liner……