STICKY : Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Fuggletim · Post by **Fuggletim** » Sun Mar 12, 2023 6:38 pm

When I hit 45 I started having nightmares about half eaten bananas. My Doctor reckoned it was a mid Fyffe crisis………

Anon E Mouse · Post by **Anon E Mouse** » Tue Mar 14, 2023 7:25 am

My pet snake is 3.14 metres long.

He's a π thon.

Chalkie · Post by **Chalkie** » Tue Mar 14, 2023 11:26 am

Wife: 'Does my bum look big in these jeans?'

Me: 'Your arse would look big in a dress' wasn't the correct answer apparently.

Chalkie · Post by **Chalkie** » Thu Mar 16, 2023 7:26 am

I asked my boss if I could come into work a little later today.
Dream on he said.
I thought, that was very nice of him.

Anon E Mouse · Post by **Anon E Mouse** » Thu Mar 16, 2023 12:28 pm

One of the Russian acrobats in our human pyramid has been deported.

We don’t have Oleg to stand on.

Fuggletim · Post by **Fuggletim** » Thu Mar 16, 2023 9:42 pm

Just past my carpentry exam with a score of 100%!

Nailed it!

Anon E Mouse · Post by **Anon E Mouse** » Sat Mar 18, 2023 11:12 am

My friend lost his ear in an accident and had to have a pigs ear transplanted on.

I asked him if it was working ok...

He said “It’s fine apart from a bit of crackling...”

Fuggletim · Post by **Fuggletim** » Sat Mar 18, 2023 9:15 pm

My Doctor asked me recently do I drink alcohol and how much? I said HSB at £4:80 a pint….

Richard Petty · Post by **Richard Petty** » Mon Mar 20, 2023 6:33 pm

I was telling my neighbour about my my aunt who is in hospital passing the time by playing Snakes & Ladders, Draughts, Ludo, Mahjong etc.

"Any chess?" he asked.

"No, she's gone private!" I replied

Richard Petty · Post by **Richard Petty** » Mon Mar 20, 2023 6:34 pm

My wife just confessed that she broke my favourite lamp…

I don't think I'll be able to look at her in the same light ever again!

Richard Petty · Post by **Richard Petty** » Mon Mar 20, 2023 6:35 pm

Apparently, it takes 3 sheep to make a sweater…

That's amazing, I didn't even know they could knit!

Fuggletim · Post by **Fuggletim** » Mon Mar 20, 2023 7:05 pm

Going on from my Doctor’s question about alcohol, he asked me if I had ever had an STI?

I told him, I hadn’t but I did once have a Mark 3 Cortina 2000 GT…..

Anon E Mouse · Post by **Anon E Mouse** » Tue Mar 21, 2023 9:27 am

I lost a court case battle against a popular fabric softener company ....

I fought Lenor, and Lenor won

Anon E Mouse · Post by **Anon E Mouse** » Tue Mar 21, 2023 9:28 am

Richard Petty wrote: ↑Mon Mar 20, 2023 6:34 pm My wife just confessed that she broke my favourite lamp…

I don't think I'll be able to look at her in the same light ever again!

Fuggletim · Post by **Fuggletim** » Tue Mar 21, 2023 6:22 pm

My Doctor finally told me I needed to go into Hospital for a small operation. The day of admission came and I was told to take any medication I had. The operation was delayed for a few days until I had fully detoxed after this……

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