Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

[WTF]

What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed? "Oh sheet!"

[WTF]

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? "Supplies!"

[bordon shot]

My wife said sex is better on holiday.

Not the best postcard to receive.

[Anon E Mouse]

I went to the bar and ordered a pint of Less.

The barman asks, "What's Less?"

I answered, "I don't really know but the doctor told me to start drinking it!"

[Fuggletim]

Being a Magistrate is brilliant I am getting to meet so many Celebrities from my past!

[Anon E Mouse]

I’ll tell you what really annoys me; people who get well-known phrases wrong...

I mean, its not rocket surgery...

[Chalkie]

I'm over 50 years old and never used Essential Oils.
Which makes me wonder, how essential they really are.

[Richard Petty]

The police knocked at my door last night.

"Sorry for troubling you sir, but can we have a quick word?"

I said, "Velocity?"

[Richard Petty]

Light travels faster than sound…

That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak!

[Richard Petty]

How did the barber win a race

He knew a shortcut

[Richard Petty]

I went to the bar and ordered a pint of Less.

The barman asks, "What's Less?"

I answered, "I don't really know but the doctor told me to start drinking it!"

Are you and Mr Mouse reading the same book

Ooops didnt spot that, I have changed the joke (Sorry Mr Mouse)

[Richard Petty]

My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward

[Richard Petty]

I had a neck brace fitted years ago and I've never looked back since.

[Fuggletim]

If "Laziness" was an Olympic sport, I would come 4th so I wouldn't have to bother to go up to the podium to get a medal.

[Anon E Mouse]

I went to a pilates class the other day, but it was rubbish.

There were no pies or lattes