Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

[Anon E Mouse]

The sky was looking ominous so I asked Siri, “Surely, it’s not going to rain today?”

And she replied, “Yes it is, and don’t call me Shirley.”

That was when I realized I’d left my phone on Airplane mode.

[Fuggletim]

Unfortunately I have found that if you want to get on at work, you do have to tread on toes sometimes. I never made it as a ballroom dancer mind…..

[Anon E Mouse]

My wife said that if I don't get off the computer she'll slam my head on the keyboard.

But I think she's jokinfjreoiwjrtwe4to8rkljreun8f4ny84c8y4t58lym4wthylmhawt4mylt4amlathnatyn

[Fuggletim]

I found an old lamp in my attic, took it into the garden and began to polish it. As I did so, a genie popped and promised me a wish as I had released him. I gazed up into the sky and saw an Airbus 380 passing over and needing a holiday, I said “I wish I was on that plane!”

I was in the arrivals hall at Gatwick North Terminal 15 x minutes later………

[Anon E Mouse]

Just had Christmas dinner…

These slow cookers are rubbish!

[Richard Petty]

I have been trying to live on a Mediterranean diet as its supposed to be good for you. To be honest I am getting sick of drinking just sea water every mealtime.

[Graham Stovold]

[baldershot]

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

[Fuggletim]

I was minding my own business silently chewing a Juicy Fruit gum on the train the other day. About 5 x minutes into the journey an elderly lady sitting opposite leant over and told me it was very nice that I was talking with here, but she was actually totally deaf….

[Anon E Mouse]

I shall fight for the right to identify as a smurf until I'm blue in the face!

[Fuggletim]

And in sports news, a charity football match between “The Royal Ballet” and the “Paris Opera Ballet” finished 2-2…….

[Anon E Mouse]

For Sale :- Midwife Manuals
(Can Deliver)

[Fuggletim]

My dog chewed up my lap top last night. He had at least 3 bytes……..

[Chalkie]

A Scotsman and his wife walked past a swanky new restaurant.

"Did you smell that food?" she asked, "It smells absolutely incredible!"

Being a kind-hearted Scotsman, he thought "What the hell, I'll treat her!"

So, they walked past it again!

[scorp]

A Scotsman and his wife walked past a swanky new restaurant.

"Did you smell that food?" she asked, "It smells absolutely incredible!"

Being a kind-hearted Scotsman, he thought "What the hell, I'll treat her!"

So, they walked past it again!

Very good.