Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

[Fuggletim]

I found some kittens at the side of the road in a suitcase, so I called the RSPCA.

They asked me were they moving when I found them?

I said I think they were and that would explain the suitcase……

[Chalkie]

My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quite whilst she cooked dinner.............

So I took the battery out of the smoke alarm!

[Fuggletim]

The Fire Service today issued their report on the devastating fire at the scissor factory where it was obvious that corners had been cut in fire precautions.

[frimley_greener]

I wish the makers of Avocado would put a new toy in....
I have fifty wooden balls already.....

[Fuggletim]

People seem to be able to identify themself as anything nowadays! I was talking to someone who thinks they are a piece of Samsonite luggage. They really are a strange case….

[beechcroft]

Man visits his brother in the lunatic Asylum and asks him whats he going to be when he gets out ''well said his brother, iv'e been studying law , so i might become a barrister,or a judge or even a solicitor, ..but there again i might continue being a teapot !

[beechcroft]

Had a vasectomy last year, didn't work, just changes the colour of your kids

[Shots1954]

Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road?"
"Because roads hadn't been invented in those days".....

[Fuggletim]

My Solicitor got married to another Solicitor. Neither said “I do” but both said they “Accept the terms and conditions,”

[beechcroft]

Paddy goes into the chemist and asks 'what is the strongest thing you have for a headache '? Chemist say's 'nothing beats Annadin '
Ok say's Paddy, i'll have a pack of nothing

[Fuggletim]

I was going as a Shepherd to a fancy dress party, but the costume shop was rubbish. Just can’t get the staff…..

[Anon E Mouse]

My Dad was telling me he bought his 1st car from the Krays.
I said what reg ?
He said no Ronnie I think.

[Anon E Mouse]

I threw a ball for my dog...

It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a Tuxedo.

[beechcroft]

I think the wife is leaving me....she has asked for the house keeping money in travellers cheques

[beechcroft]

The wife said i have a few days off, so i'm going to put a map of the uk on the back of the kitchen door, and i'm going to throw an arrow at it, where ever it lands, thats where we are going.......looks like where going to the 'back of the fridge '